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Dear Big Money (particularly you so-called “Speculators”),

If you have investments in oil commodities, please put them in the stock market instead. This will lower our gas prices and improve our economy.

If you have or had investments in poorly loaned mortgage-backed securities or collateralized debt obligations, I’m sorry for your probable loss, and please put any further investments in the stock market instead. This will improve our economy.

If you follow these simple suggestions, I have a hunch that we can turn this thing around. Which would be a people-friendly thing to do.